Do We Ever Outgrow Fantasies?

The photograph below was taken by daughter Vim in her new home environs of New York City. When she was growing up in Ohio I would never have imagined her living in New York City, but I guess somewhere along the line she developed that fantasy of living in a big city. She made an about face and wound up in the big city that defines all big cities in my mind and seems to be having a wonderful time. I think I like the photo for the evolving it suggests noting the different scene at the end of the tunnel, a paradigm shift, a life’s journey in a manner of speaking.

For me city living took some getting used to. I guess I could live in either one now, which is probably a good place–in terms of finding peace and happiness in your life–to be. I love the solitude and quiet dignity of country living–wild animals and birds–but I also love being able to walk (or bike if I was younger) down the street, through a winding park trail to get to needful things (like food and pharmaceuicals, video rentals, even a cigar parlous where you can sit and smoke if you’re so inclined (I’m not and have never been), as we had when we lived in Las Vegas (Nevada. Did you know there’s another Las Vegas? in New Mexico.)

Today we live on the east benches of the mountains surrounding mid-size Salt Lake City. It’s a happy mix of the two. We’re back to wild animals like deer and coyotes beyond our backyard fence, but we also walk up and down the hills and get to small strip malls a tad over a mile away.

When I was 15 or 16, a fantasy of mine was to drive a convertible, own a dog something like a poodle, and be a journalist for a big magazine. Unlike Vim, mine didn’t come true, and it’s probably good that it didn’t. The realities that came from decisions I made have resulted in a far better life I’m sure.

One of my latest fantasies, or daydreams, is a sabbatical in Europe where Hubby and I would live in an apartment directly over a bakery or delicatessan. We’d ride a bike to the symphony or local playloft, shop in the Turkish market in the neighborhood, and take most of our meals at a trendy little cafe, of course. Except for the eating out part, I suspect Hubby would share this little fantasy of mine completely. I can see that this fantasy is doable in our new life in retirement without ever straying too far from home. We can realize it small increments every day by living life to the fullest.

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6 thoughts on “Do We Ever Outgrow Fantasies?

  1. Yeah, because at my age I would have a hard time learning and adjusting to a new language! so anywhere English is understood and is appreciated (so I guess that might leave out Paris)… India doesn’t have those bakery/delis, so I’d have to think about it for awhile. Maybe Pop will learn Spanish well enough (since he’s taking conversational Spanish this Osher class session) we could think about Spain? What do you think?

  2. Do you remember Jackie Shaffer? She and her hubby went to Italy a few years ago and lived with a family in the Tuscan area for about a week. Each day they went into town and purchased food for the evening meal and then came back and all worked together to prepare the meal. It sounded like a really cool thing to do and something I wouldn’t ever imagine anyone doing until I thought about it for a while. I’d like to do that. I think they struggled with the language barrier a bit but they had a great time.

    I’d still love to go to England and Ireland and have plenty of time to see the country. I’d probably just as soon skip London unless I had “extra” time. But the more I see of Ireland–it would be a must see.

  3. I DO remember Jackie! And that was a very nice fantasy lived-out; I admire her for having the guts to do that! Not sure that I would, especially not knowing how to speak the language.

    You might be interested in going into blog searches for a site on swapping vacation homes. I read it a few weeks back and thought it was a real neat concept, but then again it requires a bit of intestinal fortitude to actually do. What you do is find somebody (by advertising on the site) in another country who would like to spend some time in this country and make a deal to trade homes for a specified length of time. Most are older couples. There are even special requests such as someone willing to take care of the cat or dog, in one case I remember someone in rural France (I think) wanting to switch homes with someone who would take care of the horses in exchange for riding privileges. You should check it out if you can find it. If I chance on it again I’ll let you know more. You could probably start by putting “vacation house swaps” or some such.

    One potential problem: who, in Provence, say, would want to swap homes with a family in Salt Lake City?!!! If you live in Las Vegas or Los Angeles, or especially New York City, you have a far greater chance of a good match! Fun thought anyhow!

  4. Yeah–even I wouldn’t want to trade places with me . But it does sound like a good idea. You never know. If you found someone who was interested in going to places around Ohio for some reason or other, it could work. What I need is an Irishman who’d like to go to the Ohio State Fair, for instance!!

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