Just Call Me Katie (couric)!

I have been avoiding this for at least the past 25 years, but finally (yesterday) a new doctor has called me on it! Once in awhile I’ve been suffering some digestion problems, or lack of, for several months now, so I wasn’t surprised at all when the new gastrointerologist I saw yesterday finally tackled me as I was trying to wiggle out of it one more time (or hoping to) and insisted it was time. Almost before I knew what was happening I was sitting in front of an assistant who had on a pair those lab outfits, the Wal-Mart Specials (that I like to wear as pajamas) and she was asking me if I preferred a 12:30 p.m. procedure in May or a 1:30 p.m. in June. Since I’m planning a trip to NYC soon, I decided It would be better to have the bad experience behind me so I wouldn’t have to think about it while I was away. So it’s done! My colonoscopy will be done at 12:30 p.m. May 17. Then she gave me a detailed list of instructions for when and what and how I’d need to prepare from 3:00 the afternoon before. How in tarnation can anyone my size possibly drink that much liquid in that small space of time???? Not only that (!) but nothing by mouth (not even water) from midnight onward.

(Lest you think I’m just being a big baby about all this, maybe I should tell you about  the horrible experience I had about 40 years ago in a Pittsburgh hospital. While I was in for a series of tests that eventually showed nothing, Dr. Levick decided I needed a sigmoidoscopy. In those primitive times Doctors still performed some procedures themselves, so he had me brought to the lab and proceeded to do the whole thing himself without any sedatives at all. I had to lie on the table face down, on my knees, with my behind in the air. And he warned me not to move or it could hurt a lot worse. I thought I would die, in fact it would have been a pleasure compared to what was going on. Even the good doctor broke out in a sweat. I swore I’d never go through that kind of thing again!) 

I know that a lot of people have had this procedure done (Hubby included) and afterwards declared, “nothing to it.” While I won’t quite swallow that, I did remember that a few years back Katie Couric decided to have a colonoscopy done live and broadcast on the Today Show. In that same vein, I will post–not the pictures, mind you–my fear and dread for all to see. If I can get through it anybody can! I have only 12 more days to worry about it! In the meantime, if you haven’t had yours yet, call your doctor. They love to torture people!  

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5 thoughts on “Just Call Me Katie (couric)!

  1. Wow…you really need to keep your zen shorts on. Maybe to celebrate the experience being behind you, we can go find Katie Couric’s old Today Show buddies at Rockafeller Center. But I will warn you–I hate Matt Lauer enough that I might have to bring a sign telling him so, which will probably get us kicked out.

  2. Ah, ya big baby – nothing to it! I have had several of them – you are putting your best face forward! ha ha. Seriously, they are a necessary evil, and today it really is not such a big deal. Just hope your doc is not handsome! 🙂

  3. Will definitely be thinking of you on that “occasion”. I have had one several years ago and the procedure is really not bad at all–plus they give you some drugs that make you forget the whole thing. I will say the prep was awful. I decided coconut flavor would be like drinking a pina colada. It was NOT!

    However–tho I never had the sigmoidoscopy, my mother-in-law did and I would have to say your comments are just about what she said. In fact, I think having to have that done was the reason she stopped seeing that particular doctor.

    So the colonoscopy is way better even with the prep. Not fun but once you get that clean bill of health, it’s worth it–just like the mammogram and all those other fun procedures.

  4. Vim: I’m trying to get in the habit of wearing my Zen shorts as often as I can! Negativity is such a habit, no?!

    Adrienne: Believe me, after my hospitalization through emergency in ’05 with diverticulitis, very little can embarrass me anymore. What part of my body would you like to discuss? Handsome and not so; A lot of people, Docs and others included, they’ve all seen me in situations I hope never to get into again! I’ll bet I have a reputation in fact! : )

    Nina: Thanks for the encouragement. DRUGS! Yes! Gimme whatever will dim the memories!

  5. posted from email:
    you are scheduled for a “back door” look-see on May 17? I had a colonoscopy about five years ago. I barely remember it since I was pleasantly spaced out on Valium. I hope everything goes well. Let me know how you like the cleaning-out process. What a way to lose weight.

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