making wise choices . . .

Every once in awhile, Hubby does or says something that confirms the validity of the life altering decision I made all those years ago when I decided to cast my lot with him “from this day forward, ’til death do we part.” I saw an email he’d written, and was so proud I told him I was going to steal it and post it as “my” blog. He gave full permission:

What the hell is wrong with India? I just finished reading a book called Pink Sari Revolution: A tale of women and power in India and I was beginning to think that some changes may be possible. And then I read this article in today’s news on the internet. I hate to think that this case makes India as bad as [terrorist organization] regime or worse. It seems that the police or the politicians don’t care.  Why aren’t the general public outraged by this?

He was referring of course to two prominent and recent headlines from around the world:  Indian Woman Gang-Raped By 13 Men On Orders Of Village Court In West Bengal: Police  and Danish Tourist Gang-Raped, Robbed And Beaten Near Connaught Place, Indian Police Say . . . . It was enough that he was concerned enough and cared enough to defend these women, but when challenged that it wasn’t  India but the fact that women were afraid to report these incidents (until recently of course), thereby implying that the fault lies with the victims (now where have I heard that before?!), and that in reality–and especially when or if you considered the population numbers, percentage wise India was doing much better than the U.S. in such matters–his reply was:

I am sorry, I don’t agree with your statement “there is nothing wrong with India”. Even if there is one incident of gang rape of a woman or a young girl, it is one too many. When you read that the local panchayat ordered the gang rape because she was seen with someone from another tribe, this borders on barbarian practices. The Taliban routinely kill the women in these cases. I am surprised that the elders did not order stoning to go with it.

Population sizes, the reporting frequencies, and we are no worse  than other places etc are totally irrelevant.  In fact, I believe that the number of cases reported to police are miniscule as the police usually blame the victims. For a country that brags about being an ancient civilization and more civilized than the Islamic fundamentalists, assault and gang rapes on women should not be acceptable at any level. Add to this the so called “honor killing of women”, it gets worse.

When women are treated as less than equals and this is socially and culturally accepted, there is something wrong with the country.  See the following headline from the Hindu:
Hundreds of Indian election candidates accused of sexual violence – Figures released by the Association for Democratic Reforms show that hundreds of election candidates had allegations against them – as had scores of those in power.

When politicians get elected in spite of their sexual crimes against women, it says that there will be no laws created to address the problems.

Yes we know that rape happens in all places, but no where else [do] the village elders order it.

By the way, a “panchayat” is an elective village council in India, usually made up of five “wise and respected” elders chosen and accepted by the community who traditionally settle disputes between individuals and villages. The response from one of our daughters to her dad said simply “that was awesome. you’re the best.” The other followed with, “Ditto!” So as not to be outdone, or left out of the conversation, I responded to both daughters with this simple truth: “You may thank me for choosing your papa wisely! Mom” Young single women should take heed and remember the man they’re thinking of choosing to marry will (likely) be the father of their future children.

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16 thoughts on “making wise choices . . .

  1. Bravo Hubby – this is not a who has it worse contest – this is a wake up and see the women. Any society that does not elevate its women to equal power/status spirals downwards into chaos and oblivion. Get a clue India (and all the rest of the world).

    • So right! By the way, while not an easy read, PINK SAREE REVOLUTION is a very informative read, and most likely can be picked up in a library.

  2. What a powerful post that confirms and increases the respect I have long held for Hubby!!! A standing ovation to a truly wonderful gentleman!!! You are a very blessed lady!!!!

    • What can I say? I’ve always had either the inherent ability (from who knows where) to “read” people, or perhaps it was just amazing luck, when choosing my friends! You’ll find your name among them. Thanks.

    • Thanks Ruthe! I like to think we’ve been mostly good for each other. You remember the drill: “I love you not only for what you are, but what I am because of you.”

  3. Dear Alice. I hadn’t known I was lost. I thought I was here looking out at a watery blue sky and feeling glad for a good day. LOL

  4. You’re much too hard on yourself! As Pogo would say, “we have seen the enemy, and he is us.” 😀 Remember that guy–possum, wasn’t he?

    • Mage I tried to answer this by email but your address seems lacking. So here it tis; hope you eventually see it (ditto Grannymar above):

      Hi Mage! Nice to hear from you. No I am not lost, just on to other things, although I do think (and miss) from time to time, writing my wintersong. I’m sorta writing in my head these days instead. But life does go on, and I stay pretty busy. Five years in remission, and things still look okay, though I do still have to have periodic infusions for my RA. Hubby and I are going to India in a few weeks–where it will be very hot! and humid! and monsoonal! We’ll be attending a family ceremony akin to the Jewish Bar Mitzva, visiting a tiger sanctuary, taking our sis-in-law out to celebrate her 80th b’day, visiting an ailing niece now undergoing her own round of chemo, all in (possibly) 114 F 100% weather. Pray for me! But on the other hand we are planning about a week of R&R in Amsterdam and I’m crossing my fingers we’ll be able to visit Bruges. The weather there is supposed to be in the seventy-something range. I hope I have enough room to pack two wardrobes ! I subscribe to your Postcards and catch up with some of your posts from time to time, but rarely go into WordPress or My Wintersong these days. I keep it open, and it gets about the same amount of hits daily as it always did, and who knows? Someday I may sit down to revive it. If I ever get back to San Diego (which I’d love) I’ll get in touch. Stay healthy. Stay happy.
      Alice

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